Loss doesn’t always mean someone is gone. Sometimes, they’re still here, but the relationship, life, or future we once knew has changed. That’s what makes grief so complex and a theme we can see in Spider-Man.
In Spider-Man: No Way Home, Peter Parker makes an extraordinary sacrifice: he chooses to make the entire world forget that Peter Parker ever existed. MJ is still alive. Ned is still alive. But they no longer remember Peter as part of their lives. Aunt May is gone, while Peter’s relationships with MJ and Ned have also disappeared in the form he once knew. Peter has not physically lost everyone he loves, but he has lost his relationships, memories, role, and place in the lives of the people who matter to him. And sometimes, this kind of loss can be one of the hardest things to explain to others.
Grief Does Not Always Mean Losing Someone
When we hear grief, we may think of losing someone we love. But grief can come from many kinds of loss: a changed relationship, an ended friendship, a life we once had, a version of ourselves, or a future we imagined. We can even grieve someone who is still alive but no longer present in our lives in the same way.
That’s what makes grief complex. There isn’t always a funeral, goodbye, or clear ending. Sometimes, loss happens gradually, making it difficult to name what we’re grieving.
Peter Parker experiences this in Spider-Man: No Way Home. MJ and Ned are still alive, but they no longer remember him. He hasn’t lost them through death, but he has lost his place in their lives. This reminds us that Spider-Man can also help us understand the many forms grief can take.
This sense of disconnection can be an important part of grief. A study titled “Prolonged Grief Symptoms Predict Social and Emotional Loneliness and Depressive Symptoms” by M. Eisma and A. Buyukcan-Tetik found that more severe prolonged grief symptoms were associated with greater social and emotional loneliness among bereaved adults. Grief, therefore, is not only about missing someone. It can also involve losing a sense of connection, belonging, and being understood.
Because these losses may not be visible to others, we might question whether we have the “right” to grieve. But grief does not need to look a certain way to be real. The sadness, longing, confusion, or emptiness we experience can still be meaningful, even when others cannot see what has changed in our lives.
We Can Still Function While Grieving
After everything that happens, Peter continues to be Spider-Man. He works, saves people, and goes through his daily routines. From the outside, he may look fine. But looking okay doesn’t mean grief is over.
In everyday life, we can still work, study, meet friends, laugh, and make plans while carrying grief inside us. Sometimes, it quietly exists beneath our routines.
A familiar place, song, photograph, or memory can suddenly bring that grief back. Everything may look normal from the outside, while feeling deeply lonely within. Being able to function doesn’t mean we’re not grieving.
Some Losses Cannot Be Undone
One of the hardest parts of grief is realizing that not everything can be fixed. In Spider-Man, Peter cannot simply make MJ and Ned remember him again. In real life, we cannot always bring someone back, restore a relationship, undo a regret, or recreate a future that is no longer possible.
We often think healing means “getting back to normal” becoming who we were before the loss. But healing isn’t always about returning to what was.
Sometimes, healing means learning to live with the space left behind by something that once mattered deeply.
That space may never completely disappear. Memories may remain, and certain dates or places may always feel different. But over time, we can learn to carry that empty space without letting it define our entire lives.
This is one of the lessons Spider-Man reminds us: healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to live with what we cannot change.
When Loss Changes How We See Ourselves
Loss doesn’t only change our relationships with others. It can also change how we see ourselves.
In Spider-Man, when Peter realizes that no one remembers him, he faces a painful question: “If they don’t remember me, who am I now?”
We may ask similar questions after a relationship ends, losing a job that shaped our identity, or when someone who once felt like home is no longer there. Sometimes, we’re not only grieving what we lost, but also the part of ourselves that seems to have disappeared with it.
Our identities are shaped by relationships, experiences, and roles. When these change, we may need time to rediscover who we are and who we’re becoming. Spider-Man reminds us: loss may change our story, but it doesn’t mean our story has ended.
Moving Forward Is Not the Same as Moving On
We often feel pressured to “move on” to prove that we’re healed. But moving forward doesn’t mean leaving the past behind or forgetting someone.
We can keep living while carrying memories with us. We can build new relationships, laugh again, and experience happiness without erasing what we once had. Like Spider-Man, we can carry our experiences, love, and losses with us. Loss may become part of our story, but it doesn’t have to be the end of it.
Starting Again Does Not Mean Becoming Who We Used to Be
Perhaps one thing Spider-Man’s journey can teach us is that after loss, we don’t always return to who we were before. And maybe that’s not the goal.
We change. Loss can reshape how we understand relationships, life, ourselves, and the future.
Healing may not be about finding the person we were before. It may be about meeting the version of ourselves that emerges after the loss, one who understands themselves more deeply, accepts that not everything can be controlled, appreciates the relationships that remain, and discovers that life can still hold meaning even when it looks different from what we imagined.
Like Peter Parker, we are allowed to start again.
Not because we have forgotten or because the loss no longer hurts, but because we choose to keep living, keep growing, and build something new from what we still have.
If You Are Grieving
It’s okay if the process isn’t easy. You don’t have to look okay, “move on” quickly, or know how everything will turn out. And you don’t have to go through it alone.
Grief is not a race. There is no universal timeline or single right way to grieve. Some days feel lighter, while sadness may return unexpectedly. That doesn’t mean you’re back at the beginning.
Grief can move forward, backward, in circles, and change shape along the way.
You don’t have to erase what once mattered to keep living. Sometimes, starting again means carrying what we loved while making room for a new life. Perhaps, like Spider-Man, we can realize: we are still here, we can still grow, and our story is not over.
You Don’t Have to Grieve Alone
If you are grieving, remember: you don’t have to look okay, move on quickly, or carry everything alone. Grief takes time, and there is no single way or timeline to experience it. Sometimes, healing simply means allowing yourself to feel while slowly finding your way forward.
At Talk Mental Health Indonesia (TMH.id), we believe grief deserves a safe space to be acknowledged, expressed, and shared. That’s why we’re bringing back GROW Batch 2 and Grief Box Batch 2—for those navigating the loss of someone, a relationship, a version of themselves, or a future they once imagined.
Through GROW, you can explore your experiences and connect with others who understand that grief doesn’t have to be faced alone. Meanwhile, Grief Box offers a space to put difficult feelings into words, even when they’re hard to say out loud.
Because sometimes, what we need most after a loss isn’t an answer, but a space where our grief can be seen and heard.
You may have lost something. But you don’t have to lose yourself in the process.
If you are currently grieving, or know someone who is, stay connected with @talkmentalhealth.id for updates about GROW Batch 2 & Grief Box Batch 2.