Learning from a Case That Reminds Us All
Bullying is not just a joke — it’s a painful reality that continues to affect many lives.
Not long ago, Indonesia was once again shaken by heartbreaking news. On October 15, 2025, the tragic death of Udayana University student Timothy Anugerah Saputra revealed how deeply bullying can wound someone’s life.
The public reacted with shock after a group chat spread widely online, filled with cruel jokes and mocking comments instead of empathy. Instead of empathy, it was filled with jokes, harsh comments, and mocking remarks about someone’s death. Moreover, this tragedy reminds us that bullying is never harmless — and the wounds it leaves often remain invisible.
Therefore, it’s time for us to pause before we laugh, listen before we judge, and lead with empathy in every conversation. We are reminded once again that bullying is not just a joke, and the wounds it leaves are not always visible on the surface.
Bullying Is Not Always Visible
When people hear the word bullying, they often imagine physical violence — a punch, a shove, or direct acts of aggression. However, in reality, bullying can appear in much subtler forms: through words, actions, or even silence that wounds.
For instance, some examples of bullying that are often dismissed as “harmless jokes” include:
- Jokes that belittle someone’s appearance, accent, or background
- Repeated teasing or sarcasm that makes someone feel small
- Hurtful comments online disguised with laughing emojis
- Staying silent or ignoring when someone is being mistreated
Ultimately, what seems “normal” or “funny” to one person can feel incredibly heavy to the one being targeted. It’s not just the body that gets hurt — it’s someone’s sense of safety, dignity, and self-worth. Moreover, these invisible forms of bullying often connect with wider social issues. When we normalize hurtful words, gender-based jokes, or victim-blaming, we unconsciously reinforce a culture that tolerates discrimination and inequality.
According to a UNICEF fact sheet on child marriage in Indonesia (2020), one of the key drivers behind child marriage is social pressure and stigma especially toward girls who are bullied, judged, or shamed for their behavior or choices.
In many cases, emotional bullying, name-calling, or gossip becomes a powerful social force that limits young people’s freedom and self-worth. The report highlights that negative stereotypes, such as labeling girls who speak up or make independent decisions as “rebellious” or “inappropriate,” can push families to marry them off early to “protect family honor.”
Clearly, this shows how bullying and stigma don’t just hurt emotionally; they can also shape real-life decisions and perpetuate systemic inequality.
In conclusion, every cruel comment or silent judgment can ripple far beyond school walls, impacting someone’s mental health, opportunities, and even their future. Therefore, empathy, respect, and inclusion must be at the heart of every conversation, classroom, and community space.
Why Does Bullying Happen?
Often, bullying behavior stems from unhealed wounds. In many cases, a bully once felt powerless, rejected, or belittled, and unconsciously repeats the same pattern — hurting others to regain a sense of control. However, the reasons behind this behavior are far more complex.
Several factors contribute to why bullying continues to exist:
- A lack of empathy and emotional awareness
- Peer pressure and the need to “fit in”
- The desire to be seen or appear dominant
- A culture that normalizes harshness as “just a joke”
- The absence of education and clear consequences in schools or online spaces
As a result, when a community chooses silence, the cycle only strengthens. Consequently, the bully feels empowered, while the victim grows increasingly voiceless.
The Often Overlooked Impact
Bullying doesn’t just cause emotional pain; instead, it can lead to long-term effects on one’s mental health. Over time, these effects may become deeply rooted, influencing how a person feels, thinks, and connects with others.
Victims may experience:
- Anxiety and constant fear
- Difficulty sleeping or focusing on studies
- Feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness
- Withdrawal from social situations
- Even a loss of hope for life itself
Clearly, words that seem “harmless” can cut deeply. Moreover, when the environment responds with laughter or judgment, those wounds only grow deeper.
Therefore, empathy should always be our first reflex — not mockery, not jokes, not judgment. By choosing empathy, we give others the safety to heal and the strength to continue.
If You’re Experiencing Bullying
If you’re experiencing bullying, remember this: feeling hurt, angry, or sad doesn’t make you weak. In fact, your feelings are valid, and you’re not overreacting.
Often, many victims try to minimize their own pain, saying things like:
Many victims try to minimize their own pain:
“It’s just a small thing; I shouldn’t be so sensitive.”
“I’ll just stay quiet, it’s not worth the trouble.”
However, everyone has different limits and sensitivities. Therefore, you have every right to feel uncomfortable.
Try gently telling yourself:
“I have the right to feel uncomfortable.”
“My feelings are valid, and I deserve to be heard.”
You don’t have to be strong all by yourself. You have the right to ask for help and to find a safe space to share your story.
Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. They may not always have all the answers, but they can be someone who listens without judgment.
Remember, asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a sign that you care about yourself and want to heal.
Empathy and Listening Can Save Lives
Not everyone has the courage to speak about their pain. Sometimes, the quietest person is the one fighting the hardest internal battle.
They don’t need long advice, they need someone who’s willing to listen with compassion. Try being present without judgment.
Ask softly, “Are you okay?”
Or simply stay with them, without saying much.
We don’t always have to offer solutions. Sometimes, our presence alone can save someone from despair.
If You Witness Bullying
Don’t stay silent. Silence allows violence to continue.
You can make a real difference through simple acts:
💬 Reach out to the victim and show them they’re not alone
📞 Encourage them to talk or seek professional support
📢 Report the situation to campus authorities or trusted institutions
💗 Be the voice for someone who’s lost theirs
Your small action might become a big turning point in breaking the cycle of bullying.
We All Have a Role to Play
Every individual, campus, school, and online community has a shared responsibility to create safe and supportive spaces for learning and growth. Learning environments should be spaces to flourish, not places where fear and cruelty take root.
The story of Timothy is a painful reminder that words can heal, but they can also harm. And no life should ever be lost because of a lack of empathy.
Let’s start with ourselves:
✨ Choose words with empathy
✨ Listen with an open heart
✨ Stop jokes that hurt others
✨ Speak up when you see injustice
Because a warmer, kinder world begins with small choices, with how we treat one another every day.
Take the Next Step: Lead with Empathy, Learn with Awareness
Bullying is not just a joke, it’s a reminder that every word we say carries weight.
Change begins when we choose empathy over entertainment, when we pause before we laugh, and when we listen instead of judge.
Every one of us can make a difference:
💬 Start conversations about kindness and emotional safety in your circles.
👂 Listen with presence sometimes, being there is the most healing thing you can do.
💗 Speak up when you see someone being mistreated. Silence only protects the harm, never the person.
Empathy isn’t something we’re born with, it’s a skill we can nurture through reflection, awareness, and practice.
That’s why we created our free zine, as a gentle companion to help you slow down, reflect, and reconnect with your emotions.
Download your free zine here: talkmentalhealthid.org/freebies
Let’s build a kinder, safer community together. 🤍
Bullying is not just the responsibility of the victim or the perpetrator, it’s our shared responsibility to grow empathy, courage, and compassion in our daily lives.
Start small: listen more, judge less, and choose your words with care.
Because a better world begins with us, with one small act of empathy that could save a life. 💛
