How do we understand ourselves as parents? To what extent does our self-concept influence the way we raise our children? Do we take on the role of a parent based on the values we truly believe in, or are we merely fulfilling societal expectations?
These questions were at the core of the “Me and Myself” Exhibition Theme Discussion organized by @talkmentalhealth.id X @ruang.imajinasi.anak in collaboration with Fransisca Wulandari (Mental Health & Self-Growth Counsellor). In this discussion, participants were encouraged to explore their self-concept as parents, recognize the values that shape them, and understand the gap between expectations and reality in parenting.
Brainstorming: Self-Concept and Parenting Role
The discussion began with a brainstorming session about self-concept. Why it is important to have a strong self-concept and the factors that influence it. Many parents go through their daily lives without fully realizing how their self-concept is formed, what values they hold, and how these factors impact their parenting style. However, having a clear and strong self-concept is crucial because it helps in:
- Understanding our role as parents, not just based on social expectations but also on personal values.
- Setting parenting goals that align with our authentic selves.
- Avoiding internal conflicts that arise from social pressures conflicting with reality.
Group Discussion: Between Expectations and Reality
After the brainstorming session, participants were divided into small groups to discuss three reflective questions posed by the facilitator:
Expectations (Social Standards) About Parenting
There are certain social standards in society regarding how a parent should behave. Parents are expected to be:
✔ Loving & patient
✔ Highly capable & financially independent
✔ Role models & wise figures
✔ Responsible & emotionally controlled
Reality of Being a Parent
However, in reality, being a parent is not as easy as it seems. Various life challenges often leave parents feeling overwhelmed. Some common struggles in parenting include:
❌ Feeling easily frustrated & overprotective
❌ Carrying the heavy burden of parenting responsibilities
❌ Limited time due to work commitments
❌ Inconsistencies in parenting styles
The Gap Between Expectations and Reality
By comparing expectations with reality, participants realized that a significant gap exists. Some of the factors contributing to this gap include:
- Socioeconomic pressures
- Busy schedules limiting quality time with children
- Lack of self-awareness as a parent
- Pressure to conform to social norms
Self-Discovery: Identifying Personal Values
After recognizing the gap between expectations and reality, participants were guided through a self-exploration exercise. By understanding themselves better, parents could gain deeper insight into their behavior and decision-making in parenting.
To facilitate this, the facilitator provided value cards and worksheets featuring different personal values, such as:
✔ Helpfulness (desire to assist others)
✔ Ambition (drive for achievement)
✔ Appreciation (valuing oneself and others)
✔ Curiosity (strong sense of wonder and learning)
✔ Competence (desire to feel capable and empowered)
✔ Religion (spiritual beliefs and practices)
…and many more.
This process helped participants realize that they often follow societal standards without questioning whether those standards align with their own values. By recognizing their core values, parents can navigate their role with greater awareness, authenticity, and alignment with their true selves.
Self-Reflection
To conclude, participants were asked to create a representation of themselves: a drawing, a symbol, or a statement that reflects their self-identity. This activity aimed to help them become more aware of who they are and how they wish to grow as parents.
Additionally, they were given a final task: a deep reflection on the values they had identified. This was designed to help them evaluate their self-awareness journey and determine how they wanted to approach their parenting role moving forward.
Happy Parents, Thriving Children
This workshop was not just a discussion, it was a journey of self-discovery for parents. We believe that when parents have a strong sense of self and understand their core values, they can parent more effectively and with greater fulfillment.
By developing a deeper understanding of self-concept and life purpose, parents can liberate themselves from social expectations and embrace their role with awareness and sincerity. After all, happy parents create an environment where children can grow and thrive.
Let’s watch the recap moments of this session!
